Final Draft of Investigation Essay

Today we handed in our last drafts, although we may get a later chance to amend small improvements.
I mainly spent my time making small ammendments to my essay according to my teachers notes; this included grammar improvements and writing more concise sentences.
My last draft was graded a D, which I agreed with but really wanted to improve on. I think that this draft might be a low C but I would like to do another draft tp try and get a high B.

Photographs of Locations

(bottom left) Keynsham Police Station, Drive and Main Entrance
(top left) Road outside Station, Sign
(top right) Possible Pick-Up point, The Clocktower

Pitch Feedback

Postivies:

• nice title, snappy, sticks in head
• good use of real policemen, adds to realism of documentary
• believable because of setting and surroundings
• good locations
• good documentary narrative
• professional production co. name
• good concept
• clear USP
• wise starting after an ad. break
• clear intertexts and generic conventions
• ride along will privde interesting insights
• clear target audience
• good locations and cast
• nice storyboard

To Improve:

• careful it's not too boring, not too much information overload
• be wary of stereotypes
• create personal identity if following one main officer
• mainly improvised script for natrualistic feel
• music is key - add to bulk out sound and add drama
• do you know what the criminals are going to be saying (script)?
• barnded criminal clothes - think about product placement, don;'t show brands/logos

Generally, our concept got good feedback with the originality of the title, co. name and concept and lots of creative feedback so that our production piece can be as professional and realistic as possible.

Pitch Presentation

Crime documentary pitch

My group's pitch presentation to be shown to my class in two weeks, storyboard is missing but will be scanned in at a later date and location photographs will be added